#SampleSunday The Two-Body Problem, a Miss Fortune World Novella

Nothing is as it seems in this case. And an unseen killer might have the last laugh.

Later that night, the women gathered in Fortune’s spacious living room. They were going to open the beat-up burgundy suitcase that had belonged to the late Michael Mosca.

Mary-Alice was secretly relieved that Gwendolyn would be staying with Fortune, rather than with her. As proud as Mary-Alice was of her bright new kitchen with its white appliances and its Italian sunflower wall tiles, she wasn’t eager to let the world see her yet-to-be-remodeled dining room. The windowless space was inadequately lit by a wrought-iron chandelier that hung from a low cottage-cheese ceiling. The ambiance was made even glummer by putty-colored walls and a depressing gold shag carpet.

Gertie handed Gwendolyn a pair of gloves from the box in her purse, put on a pair herself, then handed the box around.

Gwendolyn unzipped the suitcase and flopped it open. Tears filled her eyes as she gazed at the jumbled contents.
“It smells like him,” she whispered.
“He wasn’t exactly a neat freak, was he?” Ida Belle observed.

Shirts and boxer shorts were tangled up with shiny plastic beads, oversize sunglasses, and green, purple and gold knockoff Rubik’s Cubes sealed in plastic wrap printed with Chinese script.

“What’s this?” Fortune reached in and picked out a small, dark gray cylinder. “it looks kind of like a pepper shaker.”
Gwendolyn peered at it and shook her head. “It doesn’t look familiar to me, but Mike was always getting these weird new toys in.”

Mary-Alice, overwhelmed with curiosity, plucked the object out of Fortune’s hand.
“It does look like a pepper shaker. Only I can’t see where the pepper comes out– Ow! Goodness gracious, it bit me!”
Mary-Alice dropped the object and clutched her wrist.

“Nobody else touch it.” Fortune produced a plastic bag and gingerly dropped the offending object into it. “Mary-Alice, go wash your hands with soap and water. Make sure to irrigate the wound thoroughly.”

By the time Mary-Alice returned, someone had lifted the open suitcase onto the coffee table for easier access.
“Do you recognize this?” Fortune was asking Gwendolyn, holding up a receipt.

Gwendolyn took it from Fortune and smiled. “This is that hosiery shop out in Beaumont. He always buys me the mocha fishnets when he has a chance. They’re so impractical, but they really do make your legs look fabulous. I know it might be hard to imagine, but I do like to get dressed up now and then.”

From behind her big glasses, a tear rolled down Gwendolyn’s cheek.
“I’m sorry. Thank you for being here with me. I don’t think I could do this by myself.”

Gwendolyn started to dig through the suitcase.

“Careful,” Ida Belle said. “We already had that thing attack Mary-Alice.”

“Buying those stockings was the last thing Mike did for me before he passed,” Gwendolyn’s voice cracked. “They must be in here somewhere. I know he’d want me to have them. Where are they?”

Then Gwendolyn reached down and, in slow motion, pulled out a blue box. It was not a hosiery package.

The room became quiet.

“Maybe those were for the store,” Gertie suggested, sounding unconvinced.

“No,” Gwendolyn said, a hard edge to her voice. “This isn’t for Jape & Jest. The box is already open. And there’s nothing funny about it.”


The Two-Body Problem

The Two-Body Problem

Professor Gwendolyn Jackson's husband sends her a voice mail from the road, telling her he'll be home soon. Just one problem...by the time the message was sent, he was already dead.

When the police dismiss her concerns, Professor Jackson turns to her former student, Fortune Morrow, for help.

Naturally, Fortune, Mary-Alice, and the rest of the Sinful gang are eager to solve the mystery surrounding the death of Professor Jackson's husband, who owned the French Quarter's premier joke and novelty shop, Jape & Jest. But the ladies soon find that nothing is as it seems in this case, and an unseen killer might have the last laugh.

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#SampleSunday Aloha, Y’all, a Miss Fortune World Novella

THE SOUTHERNMOST STATE HAS A FEW SURPRISES IN STORE.

The woman known as Sandy-Sue “Fortune” Morrow pressed her phone to her ear and paced. Now and then she cast an anxious glance over the bayou that ran across the back of her lawn.
“So Ahmad’s men are back in New Orleans?” she asked.
“And that’s not all. We’re picking up on some chatter indicating one or possibly two of them might be headed to Sinful.”
“I can handle two. When can I expect them?”
“Don’t even think about it. We need to get you out of there.”
“But Harrison—”
“Don’t worry, it’s not a permanent relocation. We’ll just send you on vacation for a few days until we get a better handle on this.”
“Great. What forsaken backwater are you going to drop me into to this time?”
“Morrow wants to send you to Hawaii.”
“Hawaii? I’m listening.”
“We have a safe house, and someone there who can help you get settled in. You’re flying out of Lake Charles Regional Airport tomorrow morning.”
“Geez, Harrison, thanks for the advance notice. Tomorrow? What am I going to tell everyone?”
“Who do you have to tell? You’re not answerable to anyone.”
“Look, I’m doing my best to blend in. But that means I’ve become part of the community and I can’t just disappear.”

In fact, Fortune had done better than just blend in. After several weeks in Sinful, Louisiana, she was starting to feel she fit in. It was getting harder to maintain her emotional detachment. Maybe a few days away would be just what she needed to regain it.
“How about this?” Harrison suggested. “Tell whoever needs to know that your family wants you to take a look at some property out west for them. Don’t give any more details than that, and do not tell anyone you’re going to Hawaii. Keep it vague. Oh, and there’s something else. Ahmad’s guys will be looking for a young woman traveling alone, so you need to find someone to go with you.”
“Oh, that won’t be a problem—”
“Uh-uh. The Director will have an aneurism if you even think about getting those two geriatric loose cannons involved.”
“Are you saying I can’t bring Gertie and Ida Belle? They’re the only ones I don’t have to maintain cover with.”
“You should be keeping cover anyway. You have a ten-million-dollar bounty on your head, remember? Look, don’t you know any sweet, non-trigger-happy old ladies with nice manners?”

Includes Recipes


Aloha, Y’All

Aloha, Y’All

CIA operative Fortune Redding crossed a ruthless arms dealer. Now she's hiding out in remote Sinful, Louisiana, with a fake identity, fake hair, and a real price on her head. But just as she thinks she's safe, her handler warns that Ahmad's men are getting close. She has less than 24 hours to clear out and make it to the safe house in Hawaii. What's more, they'll be looking for a woman traveling alone, so Fortune needs a companion. A respectable, low-profile, non-trigger-happy companion. Which rules out Gertie and Ida Belle.

Mary-Alice Arceneaux just got a big surprise for her 70th birthday--a trip to Hawaii, courtesy of young Fortune Morrow. But with bounty hunters on their trail, and family secrets lurking in the unlikeliest of places, the southernmost state has a few more surprises in store.

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St. Charles Hotel Chicken Gumbo (original 1920 recipe)

For five gallons of Creole Gumbo use: Three gallons of chicken broth; two pounds of chicken giblets; two pounds knuckle of ham. Cut both in one inch pieces and fry them brown in some good lard. Add to them four or six large crabs, cut up; two dozen of lake shrimps, two dozen of Bayou Cook oysters. Cut ten dozen of fresh okra pods, half-dozen of Spanish onions, two dozen of green peppers, cut up in dices. Add one gallon of peeled tomatoes, one tablespoonful Creole file, salt and pepper to taste. Let simmer on slow fire for about one and one-half hours. Serve with Louisiana steamed rice.